Adventures in Learning: Please don’t

Over the course of their college career students face many difficulties. These challenges range from financial hardship, stress, and alcohol induced fuck ups. Facing these struggles force students to grow and prepares them for the “real world”. HOWEVER there is one major affliction that will unnecessarily burden million of students in this country for no justifiable reason.

The light pitter-patter of drizzle on concrete accompanied my uphill 100-yard dash from Schuylkill to Sutliff Hall. Wet, annoyed and horribly out of shape, the last thing I wanted to do was go to my afternoon Financial Accounting class. Three wheezy gasps for air and an empty promise to go the gym later I arrived at the classroom.

I stroll into the classroo- You’re joking. Why is there someone in my sit?!

No.No. No.No.No.NO. This is unacceptable.

Professor MacDonald shoots me a sideways glance signaling me to sit down. Ugh, now I have to find somewhere new to go. I end up sitting behind the human scumbag who stole my seat. Let me say it again: MY SEAT. Eyebrows narrowed I intensely stared at the back of her head hoping to produce red laser beams.

God this new seat sucksss. The lightning is all off, the lumbar support is subpar – actuallly it’s completely off and my neighbor smells of Cheetos and reefer.

About twenty mintues passes and Seat Theif turns around and smiles at me. I will end you. I mask my blood thirst with a friendly smile.

“I’m sorry did I take your seat? I didn’t think you were coming today”

Don’t you dare play innocent with me. It’s too late. You fucked up lady.

“Oh yeah it’s fine hahaha!” – It is not fine. It is anything but fine.

Seat Thief turns back around and settles in. Little does she know that I’m plotting my revenge.


Moral of the story: Don’t take anyones seat – Barry





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