In 1936 Dale Carnegie published the well-known book How to Win Friends and Influence People. This guide shows readers how to approach human relations to find success in their profession. Carnegie provides powerful insights about communication and teaches basic truths about human nature.
After fully consuming the knowledge in this text I still felt deeply dissatisfied. Dale Carnegie did a tremendous job, BUT he failed to acknowledge one teeny oversight: What if I have too many friends? Popularity is a burdensome responsibility. If there’s instructions on winning friends, there should be instructions on losing friends. Fortunately for you this is an area where I excel!
Part One – How to Lose Friends
This section introduces the fundamentals of friend reduction.
Don’t let that 90’s sitcom fool you! Having friends can be a major pain in the ass. Friends constantly want you to be around you. Friends disturb your 15 hour Netflix binge-a-thons. Friends encourage you to leave the confines of your inner sanctum to “socialize”.
Principle for Today: Friendship at stake? Be a flake!
Imagine the following: You roll out of bed at 2pm Saturday “morning” to see a text from Carrie. Three weeks ago, you promised to accompany Carrie to that new Will Ferrell movie. Yeah the one with the dolphins. Usually this is not a problem. The movies are kinda cool and you can sleep during the slow parts. Today is different though. You have 7 episodes of House of Cards left and you mentally dedicated this day to catching up.
- Stay home, turn off your phone, and hope to hell you don’t run into Carrie on Monday?
- Honor your commitment and go to the movie? (You can always watch the show later)
- Text Carrie back with a faked illness you found on WebMD minutes before?
The correct options are 1 or 3. We don’t want to go to the movies with Carrie. We don’t even like Carrie. How dare she invite us to the movies! Memorize this – Friendship at stake, be a flake.
Until next time – Barry