Life’s a Beach


Sare, Jen, and I piled into Sare’s turdish gold 2000 Toyota Sienna mom van. After a half hour of stuffing the car with luggage we could finally leave for the beaches of Long Island. Sare rubbed the dashboard reassuringly while giving the minivan a little pep talk.

“Okay girl, get us to Long Island in one piece!”

With those words Sare confidently started the engine and prepped for our three-hour road trip. Immediately roaring awake the engine came to life. Sare rolled the car forward slowly.

“Um what the hell?”

In seconds the engine dosed off again.

“Shit, Shit, Shit!”

Sare began to panic as she lost control of the two-ton beetle that was now rolling sluggishly down the hill. The steering wheel stiffened in her grip, but the van would not change course until finally she pulled a tight left turn, lurching the sleepy vehicle onto the grass of the curb and smashing into an innocent one way sign.

A momentary silence fell on the interior. We were all thinking the same thing: What the hell just happened?

Everyone then exited the van to observe the damage. The street sign was noticeably dented and Sare’s Sienna suffered from a bruised fog light. Honestly it could have been much worse. Laying on the sidewalk next to the incident we found a strange looking plastic piece of the car.

“Goddamnit! I give this piece of shit a pep talk and say get us there in one piece! Not five minutes later a piece falls off!!”

Sare became a cocktail of anxious frustration. Against my better judgement, I offered a consolidatory comment:

“Well Sare, you probably don’t want to hear this, but there is one good thing that will come out of this…”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“……. At least now I have something to write about now”

The corners of Sare’s eyes twitched in an unforgiving rage. They clearly screamed out Are you fucking joking right now?! If looks could kill I’d be in Hell.

Well sometimes life’s a beach – Barry


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