Adventures in Learning: 11th Grade Algebra

“Allen, knock it off!”

Allen was being a real dick today. The substitute assigned us to work on math problems in pairs. This meant Allen did all the work while I copied. He threw pencils at me in retaliation.

“Look Patrick, you’ll never learn if don’t you at least try.”

“Uhmhhh,” my attention pinned on the weird girl directly to my right. She seemed anxious in my presence.

“Hey! Are you even listening to me? I’m not giving you any more answers!”

Suddenly a bright yellow rectangle zoomed past my nose and landed softly on the ground. Allen succeeded in getting my attention.

“Allen I heard you. Can you shut up? I’m trying to focus.”

In actuality my attention remained fixated on the girl to my right. Wielding an unsharpened Ticonderoga pencil like a saber Allen began poking my ribs repeatedly.

“Allen! Knock it OFF!”

The anger demon arose from within my belly. Smiling like an idiot Allen continued his assault on my ribs.

“Goddamnit! I said stop!”

I forcefully snatched the pencil from his grip and chucked it across the room in a fit of rage. Mrs. Turkeyneck immediately stood from behind the teacher’s desk after seeing the projectile fly across the room.

“OKAY! Who threw that?!”

Shit! Shit! Shit! Sirens blared in my mind and my nervous system became very nervous.

Next a moment of silence.

Mrs. Turkeyneck tried again, getting more irritated, “I said who threw that?!”


Wait why did you blurt that out loud?! Idiot! Now it’s obvious it was me! How are we going to recover from this now? Don’t worry I got this, watch and learn 😎.

“Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, I gotcha! It was actually me!”

Now standing, I walked over and retrieved the pencil from the corner of the room. I gave Mrs. Turkeyneck a big smile and apologetically said sorry. Completely stunned all eyes watched me in confusion then slowly returned to work.

I totally got away with it! – Barry


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