“Your girlfriend is crazy!”


*vrrrr* *vrrr* NEW MESSAGE – Cecelia: Hey are you awake?


Me: Hey, I was asleep but I’m awake now. What’s up?

Cecelia: I needed you for something, but nvm! I took care of it 🙂

Me: Alright haha. Proud of you 🙂 See ya tomorrow, goodnight!

Next day mid-afternoon

Welcome to the most boring day in the universe. The weather was exceedingly normal. Not hot and not cold. Nothing interesting on Facebook, Insta, or Snapchat. Students remained strangely quiet on the way to class. What is going on?

I guess today is just one of those days.

I followed the stone walkway that wrapped around and upwards to the Student Service Center instead of the stairs. Still boring. I trudged along at a snail like pace.



From the shadows of my peripheral I saw Sam sprinting in my direction. I think Sam lived on the floor above mine. His eyes reeked of fear.

“Hey Patrick! Your girlfriend is crazy! She tried to kill me!”

Huh? What in the world is he talking about?

Before I could interrogate him, the kid sprinted off again. That certainly was not normal.

What in the world could Cece possibly have done? Wait.

My mind replayed the events of last night:

Cecelia: I needed you for something, but I took care of it 🙂

Aw shit. Cece what did you do?!?!

Oh god no. Nonnonononononono. Every worst-case scenario that could be imagined was imagined. My day transformed from mundane into a ball of crippling concern in a matter of seconds! I whipped out my phone and began texting furiously before heading into class:

Me: I don’t know what you did but Sam talked to me. We need to talk. You are in BIG trouble.

I shot off the text into the digital ether and sat down for lecture. My focus remained stuck on Sam’s scared face. For forty minutes the only thing I heard was Sam shouting: “Your girlfriend is crazy!” Over and over and over again. Class finally ended and I checked my phone immediately.

NEW MESSAGE – Cecelia: Okay

Just okay? Jeez this must be really bad.

I sped walked back to my dorm in Luzerne Hall and trapped Cecelia into my room.

“You’re in big trouble missy. Sit over there. Explain yourself. Now.”

Cece climbed on top of my bed and stared at me with a hurt puppy look.

Nice fucking try! I’m not letting you off that easy!

I stood across from her, arms tightly crossed and eyebrows scrunched in disapproval, impatiently waiting for an explanation.

“Okay so I know your mad..”

Bit of an understatement buddy

“Remember I told you those guys above us would not stop being loud?”


“Well they keep stomping at like midnight and I had a test this morning. You spoke to them before and they didn’t listen so I doing things my way.”

“Okay keep going”

“So…. I went up there and banged on their door with my crutch and said ‘Shut the fuck up or I’ll beat your ass!’ I mean they looked a little scared, but they didn’t make noise anymore………………… so, problem solved?”

Holyshit! This girl does not fuck around!

I stifled my inner approval with an. Admittedly, her story sounded badass, but we could both get in trouble if someone knew about this. I dug deep into my diaphragm to find my authority/disapproving dad voice.

“Okay. Thank you for being honest with me. I know they were being loud, but there’s a better way you could have handled the situation blah blah blah preach preach scorn lecture”

I waited for Cecelia to leave the room before smirking to myself.

My girlfriend was a little crazy – Barry


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