A low chitter-chatter of socialization hummed throughout the hallways. The outside windows of the second-floor social lounge showed me a handful of people gathering in excitement. Pretty unusual for a Monday night.
I wonder what’s going on there? Doesn’t matter. Need to do homework.
Curiosity superseded responsibility, so I cautiously entered the social lounge. Packets of facial cleansers, moisturizers, and cucumbers neatly dotted every round table. An orange sampler box of herbal tea filled the window sill.
Karen greeted me immediately, “Hey! Glad you could make it!”
“Hi! What’s going on here?”
“It’s a spa night!”
Oh jeez. I’m in the wrong place.
Karen continued, “Do you want to try a face mask?”
“Nah, I prefer the all-natural look. I woke up like this.”
Karen insisted, “Ha-ha, don’t be silly! Men can do face masks too! Come over here and I’ll help you!” Without waiting for an answer Karen nudged me over to a table covered in facial products.
No getting out of this now. Look what you did! Ughhh.
I needed to choose a facial mask very carefully. The ideal pick would challenge my traditional notions about masculinity while keeping my dignity intact. I settled on Avocado and minerals. Guacamole is pretty manly. The girls attending were impressed I didn’t run away yet.
Karen gracefully cast her beauty voodoo on me. When it came time to peel the mask off, an odd thought hit me: What if I accidentally rip my face off?! Eventually I managed to remove all the Avocado peel and rinsed up. The difference immediately struck me. My skin transformed from reptile scales to newborn baby bottom!
Wow! I’m gorgeous!
As if on cue, a couple of the boys from my side of the floor strolled in. The cutoff t-shirts they wore were stained with fresh sweat and their backs saddled with Nike duffel bags. They eyed my suspiciously clean looking face.
Shit! Think manly thoughts: ESPN, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Fast Cars, Explosions!
“Hey everyone, we heard there is hot chocolate here?”
I looked at them and replied, “Sorry guys no hot chocolate here…… well, unless you count me.”
A second passed for them to process the joke then the room roared with laughter.
Everyone loves hot chocolate – Barry