Ask before you accuse. Reality is not a cohesively shared experience. Our past experiences, traumas, fears, wins and gains tailor our perceptions. When we assume, we project our way of thinking onto another person. We stain their actions with meaning to fit into our puzzle.
The best way to get an answer is to ask a question.
So, ask before you accuse. Let go of what you know. Or more accurately what you think you know. Guessing, hypothesizing, ruminating all lead to the same place: nowhere. Certainty comes from knowing and you can’t know unless you ask.
People lie. I get that.
You know what? Ask before you accuse. No lie can be discovered without asking questions first. Questions hold power. Silence keeps the door locked. We lie to avoid truth. To avoid inflicting pain. To avoid been discovered for who we really are. Lying is a warm shelter with a rocky foundation. Eventually it will crumble.
Mel Robbins said it best:
“The shortest distance between any two people is the truth. Silence creates distance.” – Mel Robbins, The 5 Second Rule
Ask. – Barry